N-Dubz singer Tulisa Contostavlos has opened up about her time in the I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! jungle on Paul C Brunson’s We Need To Talk podcast.
She explained that the cameras in the jungle which film the celebrities all day every day didn’t show her experiencing “night terrors” and “anxiety attacks”.
Tulisa said: "Some of the things you didn't see, I had night terrors for the first four days. I was waking up out of my sleep, and I was having anxiety attacks.
"Those parts, not everyone knows, so it wasn't completely smooth sailing for me at all, but I have a great poker face.
"I really can turn it on and especially when I'm faced with adversity. The last thing I wanted to do was go in there and be the hot mess.
"So if anything, I'm going to be the biggest soldier there is. So as soon as I'm set with a task and I'm going in and jumping out of a plane, I'm going to look like a warrior, because that is what I do.
"I might sit and cry under the sleeping bag, that’s also a part of who I am", reports The Mirror.
Speaking about her anxiety attacks, Tulisa said: "I mean, I did cry on the VT at one point, but I definitely had an anxiety attack off-camera, because I went to the smoking area to do it and even then, I didn't want them to know that I was having an anxiety attack, so I was trying to bring down my heart rate, literally through my nose.
"I was like, ‘Okay, get the heart rate down. Get the heart rate down’. I wanted to leave that day. I was like, ‘I can't do this but it's not what I came here for.
"I came here to stick it out and do whatever I have to do’. And there were lots of amazing moments, really joyful moments, thanks to the people. The people made those moments."
Tulisa said she would often take herself away from the camp while on the ITV show.
She added: "I am a massive introvert. I was really getting a little bit overwhelmed in there, so I was probably the least around in camp.
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"I would go and remove myself and go for walks or go and hide in the dunny. I spent 90% of my time alone. The agoraphobia and being alone for so long, I got super overwhelmed being around so many people.
"They could see that and they were really understanding about that. They had jokes like, ‘she’s gone to the Airbnb. She'll be back.’
"You know, they're like, What are you doing? I'm like, ‘Bro, I've just been staring at a palm tree. I just needed a minute'.
"When I came out, I think actually the biggest thing that tipped me over the edge was introvert overload.
“I had pushed myself into doing this and I was ready to overcome all the fears and being in the spotlight, but being watched consistently, [for] so many hours a day, nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, feeling so exposed. Everyone can see me, and also this underlying fear - probably irrational - of being watched."
The singer has mostly stayed out of the spotlight recently except when she was touring with N-Dubz.
On leaving the Australian jungle, Tulisa removed all her posts which showed her in the jungle and were posted by her loved ones looking after her account.
At the time, she explained she would post her own highlights and best moments at a later date which she did.
She also left Australia and returned to the UK before the final of the show, unlike the other celebrities who stayed and appeared in the episode showing the final.
While on the podcast, she said: "I did what I signed up for, but I came out, I processed, I was feeling the way I was feeling.
"There's 11 other really happy campers there that are really happy to be there, happy to have the holiday and do it all with energy, with smiles, and you have someone that's sat crying in their hotel room.
“In this current age that we live in, it's like, ‘You want me to be there out of principle? When I'm having a breakdown right now? I need to go home and process this.
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“If other people are not having the same experience as me, they haven't had the same experiences in the past and they're all current people that are doing radios or they're on television. This is very much the norm for them’. This, for me, was a psychological experiment, for myself.
"ITV were brilliant and supported me knowing what I needed to do for myself."
Tulisa explained that when she got home she was feeling “overwhelmed” and spent time away from her phone and social media.
She also spent time alone while she was “recharging”.
On the podcast, Tulisa also discussed her battle with depression which she experienced during the coronavirus pandemic when her dog was diagnosed with cancer and she became “dependent” on sleeping pills.
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